Dangerous Information for ‘Trump-Adjoining Weirdos’ Delights Seth Meyers
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Lawsuit TV, Live
On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled Dominion Voting Systems can continue its libel suits against Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. Seth Meyers called her “Trump-adjoining weirdos” and made fun of her conspiracy theories on electoral fraud on Thursday’s “Late Night”.
“Okay, so there are only two plausible explanations for what happened here: either a federal judge appointed by Donald Trump has ruled that unsubstantiated allegations of electoral fraud by three Trump allies are not exempt from libel laws, or Hugo Chavez agreed China teamed up and the CIA to use Italian military satellites to hack the judge’s computer and change his mind, which was then printed out on paper smuggled in from China with bamboo fiber. The only way we can know for sure is to take the judge’s verdict to a cabin in Montana, examine it under strong ultraviolet light, then bury it in the back yard, wait three days, and see if it’s raining. ”- SETH MEYERS
Meyers and Stephen Colbert mostly focused on Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, whose reaction to the news was caught on camera.
“Watching someone at their own symposium get bad news in real time is my new kink.” – SETH MEYERS
“He held a livestream cyber symposium this week, hiring a cyber expert, the ‘red team,’ and giving him 37 terabytes of irrefutable evidence that hackers had broken into voting systems with intercepted ‘packet captures’. ‘Packet Captures’ is of course a technical term that you may know by the street name ‘pillow cases’. ”- STEPHEN COLBERT
“To be honest, poor cyber experts. You go to school to get a computer science degree, spend your entire career mastering a highly specialized skill that would be very helpful in today’s high tech economy, and then a psycho pillow magnate hands you what I’m for Trash holding bag full of cleaning slips and CVS receipts and saying, ‘You have to change president.’ “- SETH MEYERS
The most powerful punchlines (Today in Rudy Edition)
“Rudy was also sued for $ 1 billion by Dominion. Now he’s faced with a mountain of legal fees. This mountain is in his apartment, right next to the mountain of empty Franzia boxes. ”- STEPHEN COLBERT
“Man, I wish I could have seen Rudy’s face when he found out. And that’s something because I never wanted to see Rudy’s face. ”- SETH MEYERS
In addition, Rudy’s lawyer license in Washington was suspended and he was suspended from practicing law in New York for ‘demonstrably false and misleading’ statements about the election – meaning that he is cut off from his previous source of income: narration is next to a dildo shop. “- STEPHEN COLBERT
The worth seeing bits
In honor of Jimmy Fallon’s 1,500. “Tonight Show” episode, Kit Harington gave the host something he was waiting for – a “straight-up” version of Train’s “Drops of Jupiter”.